Dr. Dobsen often states that only 2% of marriages reach the place that God has designed marriages to be. (Can't word that well, does that make sense) I can honestly say that Dan and I are just not there. I want to be. I want to be so in love with him. More than that, I want to respect him the way he truly needs.
I've said it before, but I truly believe that women just do not understand what respect is. Respect is not something that is demanded. Respect is not something that should be used as a means to abuse. Respect is an action by another person, given out of a response. Respect is not given freely. It is given because we WANT to respect. Not out of bitterness or anger.
Let me show you some synonyms of respect so that you can better understand what the word means:
Consider, esteem, honor, regard, value, cherish, prize, treasure, account, admiration, appreciation, consideration
Do you see it? Do you see what your husband wants and NEEDS from you? He wants you to boost his ego. Ladies, he beats himself down enough. He doesn't need you to do it too. He wants you to tell him how great of a man he is. He wants to know that no other man could ever be as great for you as he is. He wants you to appreciate the sacrifices he makes for you and your family DAILY. He wants you to look at him with so much admiration every day of your life. He wants you to want to be with him sexually. He wants you to want his hands all over you. He wants you to treasure who he really is. He wants you to be so in love with him, not just love him.
Do you see it? It isn't about being submissive. It isn't about being a slave. It's about being in love with him.
I think that once women realize what respect really is, it is easier to get to that point. The hardest part about respecting our husband is the part where we die to ourselves. Given everything of ourselves completely. It's hard to show him every corner of our being, but that is ultimately what he wants. For us to give him EVERYTHING.
I don't know about you, but I want to be one of those couples that is so in love people stop and notice. I want my children to remember how much we love each other. I want to be the best example of what marriage is to them. I want them to look up to us when they are married because we have shown them the best marriage they have ever seen. I want to be that old couple, after 50 years of marriage, that still loves each other like we just started dating.
Don't you want that? Ladies, we have a calling to step up and start respecting him. We have a calling to fall in love with him all over again. Start noticing the little things he does and let yourself fall head over heals in love with him. It isn't about what he is not doing, but what he is doing. Focus on those things.
My challenge to you wives is to go out and love your husband tonight. Respect him like you have never respected him. Tell him how much you appreciate him. Put your hand in his when you sit down to dinner. In front of your children, this is so much more powerful. Let them see it. The need it. They crave it. They need to know how safe they are and the love you two have between you is the best way to show them.
Go fall in love...that's my plan tonight. To go and fall in love.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Thanks for the challenge and insight.... I feel like as marriage goes on we lose the "easyness" of love and forget that sometimes a little extra effort on our part goes a long way. I have a date tonight with my hubby, and am newly inspired to make it an extra memorable one :)... Thanks for the encouragement!
This was so beautifully written, and so poignant.
Post a Comment